Hail and Welcome my Fellow Fiends of Fear!
To start off, I’ll be honest and admit that I’ll read anything or try anything to give me an edge, to put me on top, and to make my enemies fall before me. I’m a Warlock what can I say? If you rolled a warlock too then you, like me, have a “Morose Delectation” towards every other class in the game because they are truly beneath you. The mere fact that we enjoy playing the warlock class should be a big, red flag alerting everyone that they should take caution and to be wary of our presence. We shouldn’t apologize for our actions anymore than we should for apologize for casting FEAR on another player.
This is not a “How to Play a Warlock for Dummies” or a step-by-step guide for warlocks in the World of Warcraft MMORPG . There are numerous blogs and websites that do that already and I’m not about wasting your time. Instead, this webguide is a Dark Arts reference sheet leading you to some of the required warlock reading repositories already out there, along with some of my wanton thoughts and ramblings on playing our much-loved warlock class. If anything, my main goal for this blog is to inspire you on your wise choice of learning to play a warlock. Consider me as a Dark Arts Motivational Speaker directing your yearning desire to build upon your greater goal of reaching high renown.
I want you to reach the greatness of playing a warlock so well, that other players truly hate you. Just by being warlocks they hate us already, but I think we should them countless reasons for their loathing despair of us. It’s easy to say they hate us because we always look good and we’re born to rule. It’s easy to say they hate us because we have Fear, Deathcoil and Howl of Terror. Don’t fall into that trap. Have you heard the famous line “Hate the game, don’t hate the player?” Well, we’re going to debunk that here. We want to be hated! We should love to be hated! We should strive to be hated! Being at the top of the food chain, we should spend all of our time reminding others of why we are hated!
I do not claim to be an expert on Warlocks. I don’t claim to be best geared for the class and I do not claim to be a PvP superstar. What I do proudly proclaim is to be very passionate about warlocks and their play style. Whether the class gets a nerf or a buff, I plan to stand by mine boldly and proudly with my head held high. The reason I wanted to become more vocal about the Warlock class occurred to me the other day in a revelation. While channeling Fel-energy from the Twisted Nether to better hone the raw powers of my craft (a.k.a., searching google with a keyword Warlock followed by something else) I’ve come to find only a few viable resources that best exemplifies what our Master’s of Death and Decay need…positive affirmations of why our class is so great and so much fun.
For the younger warlocks out there I am going to begin your first lesson by teaching you a spell. It’s a very old spell. It’s so old, that the name of the original warlock who penned this glorious incantation on a blog long ago has been lost to the courses of time. Do not let the spell’s age or simplicity fool you. It’s uncomplicated nature is what makes it deceptively dangerous for most mortals to wield its magic. If you are faint of heart or feel that you are not ready to take this first step, then turn back now! Casting this spell will give you an unquenchable thirst for what you can accomplish as a warlock. With this spell, you will be thrust into your addicting journey of unlocking the secrets to all things warlockery.
When you are ready to begin, open your spellbook to the section called Macros. I want you to then click the NEW button. When your new macro window opens I want you to click in the Macro Title box. Type in the letters W-I-N with no spaces. Now, click and highlight the box with a “?” at the top left of your macro window. In the body of the macro, I want you to type in the rest of this wonderful spell:
- #showtooltip Fear
- /cast Fear
- /cackle (or laugh)
To make this timeless spell soulbound to you, just click the ACCEPT button in the lower right side of your macro window. Can you feel it’s fel-energy now surging within you? Good. Now, take the unbridled power of the WIN macro and I want you to combine it not only with your Fear ability, but for Death Coil and Howl Of Terror spells too. Make sure to give each one a different name such as, “OWN” and “POWN”. Feel free to change the last line and make it more personalized to suit your needs. Here are some ideas for you to ponder on how to be creative:
- /em cackles madly at %t
- /em laughs at %t for being an easy victim
- /em laughs at all <target class>
Do you see where I am going with this now? You’re a warlock dammit, so make us proud! Here’s a quick list of other great warlocks of grand vision and notoriety who all started off just like you. All of them began their journey to ascension using the WIN Spell Macro just like you. So hold your head high, you’re in good company:
- Archimonde The Destroyer
Charlie Sheen<— really a trade-troll fail-mage wanna-be Warlock
- Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
- Michelle Pfiffer
- Nekros Skullkrusher
- Ozzy Osbourne
- Samantha & her daughter Tabitha
- Spackle Thornberry
- Jaylane Ayrole
Just glancing at that list makes my chest swell with pride and puts a tear in my eye. It should do the same for you. So, to all of you my fellow warlock peers I will make this promise…this Blood Pact: I will do my best to direct you to some of the most interesting articles, discussions, stories and yes even some theory crafting websites and blogs to sharpen your knowledge at playing the best rDps utility class in the game. Whether you’re Alliance or Horde; Whether you’re into RP, PvP or PvE; Whether you’re just learning the warlock class or a seasoned caster of calamity, I hope that you find something to enjoy.
Now, on to my ranting!